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David: "a good mix of Rob and I" and "It’s just you want a good mix" and "I thought that was a funny mix if you do it"

"Kids like him, and I think that’s a good mix of Rob and I because we used to work together, and then maybe him because he’s new and people like him. It’s just you want a good mix, and I thought that was a funny mix if you do it - and he was into it. He was excited." - David Spade, on Benchwarmers co-star Jon Heder

This quote contains an error in pronoun choice, a pronoun omission, and awkward syntax.

In the phrase "a good mix of Rob and I," the object of the preposition "of" is "Rob and I." The pronoun "I" is in the subjective case. The object of a preposition should always be in the objective case. Change "I" to "me" to correct this error.

The first sentence is awkward and does not effectively convey meaning. David is describing a mix of three people and their attributes. He says "Kids like him" and refers to this quality as a thing ("that's"), then combines the quality with a pair of people. It would be more logical to structure the sentence such that the mix is described as being of three people. Change "that's" to "he's" and "mix of" to "mix with."

The end of the first sentence is awkward because David gives two reasons, but they are not in parallel structure. The inclusion of the words "then maybe him" throws the sentence off balance. Remove them to improve the syntax of the sentence.

The clause "It’s just you want a good mix" is awkward because it is missing a pronoun. Add "that" after "just" and notice the change in the flow of the words: "It’s just that you want a good mix."

The second sentence contains awkward syntax that could be improved by changing the verb tense sequence and switching the person of the pronouns. In the clause "I thought that was a funny mix if you do it," David is describing a cause ("if you do it") and an effect ("that was a funny mix"). The cause is in the present tense but the effect is in the past tense. This is not logical. Since David is describing a hypothetical situation, it would be most effective to employ the future unreal conditional tense: change "that was a funny mix" to "that would be a funny mix" and change "if you do it" to "if you did it." Since David is speaking about what he and his co-workers wanted, change "you" to "we" to further improve the sentence.

This version of David's statement corrects the errors:

"Kids like him, and I think he’s a good mix with Rob and me because we used to work together and because he’s new and people like him. It’s just that we wanted a good mix, and I thought that would be a funny mix if we did it - and he was into it. He was excited."

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Scarlett Johansson   Jennifer Aniston   Brad Pitt   Angelina Jolie   Orlando Bloom   Paris Hilton   Eva Longoria   Tom Cruise   Katie Holmes   Gwen Stefani   lindsay Lohan   Adam Brody   Britney Spears   Halle Berry   Nick Lachey   Madonna   Beyonce Knowles