Celebrity English | Celebrity Quotes

"When you sit next to the man that you love and the man you have chosen to have kids with, and then you see so much of each other in that baby, there is a much stronger connection between Chris and me now than there was before we had the baby." - Kate Hudson, in OK Weekly

Kate has made several errors in this confusing statement. She has chosen an incorrect relative pronoun, she has used awkward syntax, and she has shifted both pronoun number and pronoun person.

In the noun phrase "the man that you love," Kate has used the relative pronoun "that" to refer to a person. The proper pronoun to use in this context is "whom" because it refers to a person and is in the objective case (the subject is "you," the verb is "love," and the direct object is "whom"). It would be acceptable to omit the relative pronoun in this phrase because "the man you love" is also grammatically correct.

While it is easy to understand that Kate is referring to one man when she speaks of "the man you love and the man you have chosen to have kids with," this syntax allows for the possible misinterpretation that there are two men: one whom you love and another with whom you have chosen to have kids. The syntax of this part of her statement can be rearranged to produce a clearer meaning in a more concise manner. Possible structures include the following:

• "the man you love, the man you have chosen to have kids with" (or, to avoid ending the appositive with a preposition, "the man you love, the man with whom you have chosen to have kids")
• "the man you love and have chosen to have kids with" (To avoid the placement of the preposition at the end of the phrase, the structure would be "the man whom you love and with whom you have chosen to have kids." The use of two instances of the pronoun "whom" imparts parallel structure to the phrase.)

Another confusing aspect of this quote is the lack of logic in the flow of Kate's thoughts. She has begun with the clause "When you sit next to the man…" but she has not balanced this thought with anything that happens at the same time or as a result of your sitting. The next clause, "and then you see so much of each other," can represent such an action only if the words "and then" are removed: "When you sit… you see." If the words "and then" are not removed, the flow of thought continues to the next action, "there is a much stronger connection." It is not logical that a stronger connection exists between Kate and Chris when, or because, "you sit next to the man you love."

Further confusion results from Kate's awkward use of pronouns. At the beginning of the quote, she has used the pronoun "you" to refer to a person sitting next to a loved one. In this context, the pronoun "you" refers to one of the people in a couple (the couple includes "you" and the man sitting next to "you"). Kate's use of the words "each other" in the following clause makes the pronoun "you" plural because a single person cannot look at "each other." The pronoun "you," which can be singular or plural, has shifted in number. One way to avoid this pronoun number shift is to replace "each other" with "that man" so that the pronoun "you" remains singular.

We have seen that Kate has used the second person pronoun "you" at the beginning of the quote. At the end of the quote, she has shifted to the first person in her use of "me" and "we." In some contexts, a transition from the second person, which can be used to express a generality, to the first person, which can apply the generality to a personal experience, can make sense. However, the wording of this statement makes this transition awkward.

One way to avoid this pronoun person shift is to create two separate sentences.

"When you sit next to the man you love, the man with whom you have chosen to have kids, you see so much of that man in that baby. There is a much stronger connection between Chris and me now than there was before we had the baby."

This structure avoids the confusing syntax and the pronoun shifts. "When you sit" is balanced by "you see." Two separate thoughts, one general and one personal, are presented in a logical manner.

Another way to avoid the pronoun person shift is to change the second person pronouns to the first person.

"When I sit next to the man I love, the man with whom I have chosen to have kids, and then I see so much of both of us in that baby, I realize there is a much stronger connection between Chris and me now than there was before we had the baby."

This approach also avoids the confusing syntax and the pronoun shifts, but in a single sentence that contains a series of personal thoughts. "When I sit… and then I see" is followed by "I realize there is," which is a logical sequence.